Workshop Retreat: Andy Buru – Happily masochistic

I loved the workshop because it turned upside down all my fears that I had beforehand about pain. The idea of me enjoying the pain was intriguing, but after realizing that I do experience it in my regular life unconsciously (physically and emotionally) I decided to attend the workshop to explore more. The most important learning for me was the importance of trust. Once I had built a trustful bond and opened up myself to experience different sensations, then experiencing pain became extremely enjoyable. Those sensations touched me so deeply from the corners of my soul where I had never reached before. I’m very grateful to Andy for creating the relaxed and comfortable space and building up the exercises in a way that supported my journey!

Kertu, a participant of Happily masochistic in Estonia.

It doesn’t really matter if you are in the beginning or already advanced on walking the path of self discovery, Andy’s courses have a lot to give. I am surprised how effortlessly he creates the safe space to study the depths of human characteristics and teaches techniques to transform pain or hurt into the most amazing feelings for both the giver and receiver. He explains BDSM and/or ropes in such a sophisticated yet easily understandable and usable way that whether you are interested in the Japanese subcultures or just how to tie the knots, you will get what you came after. I enjoy how the courses are built up, how you have time to reflect, to integrate and always turn to him with questions.


Welcome to a celebration of masochism, from the physical, through the emotional and into the devotional. There are endless explanations about why we seek pain and suffering and why it feels pleasurable and meaningful. From writers like De Sade and Sacher-Masoch to philosophers like Freud and Foucault to modern sexologists like Joseph Kramer or Barbara Carellas to trauma therapists and spiritual leaders and BDSM experts, and more and more and more. In the end, the unavoidable fact is that seeking controlled suffering is deeply human. This workshop uses BDSM in general and rope bondage in particular, to explore masochism experientially instead of lecturing about any universal truths.

We dedicate our first third to physical masochism in two essences—peaceful suffering, as I often talk about in the Zen in Semenawa and devious predicaments. A predicament is a tie that presents an impossible choice between two different pains. The result is a mind constantly trying to escape, only to find the other pain much worse. Therefore there is no peace nor surrender. Some love this feeling of hopelessness, while others prefer the slow and tranquil suffering of a static but bearable pain. My writing on Pain and Kinbaku inspires this theme, and I will also talk about the neurological aspects of pain and our coping strategies. And there is an option to add non-rope related pain like whips and clamps.

In my experience, many beginners start in physical masochism because it is safer due to the techniques that evolved through decades of BDSM. And the flesh and bones almost always heal. But it lacks a certain depth because underneath our skin lies a bottomless ocean of emotions. So the second third will focus on emotional masochism—four aspects: objectification, anticipation, exposure, and shame. In contrast to fear and anxiety that overwhelms us, we are looking for a slow process to give space to feel. Emotional masochism works on the ego and how we define ourselves and our place in this world—allowing oneself, if just for a short movement, to be helpless, drooling and horny. Totally vulnerable to another’s desires and judgement. This is a thrilling experience if one finds themselves safe enough to be brave.

Our last third will move from the submissive to the dominant as we venture into devotion. Is the experience still masochistic if the protagonist is no longer the one in pain? During this time, we will explore the perversions and taboos of the dominant using the mutual trust built in our previous physical and emotional masochistic practices. I think there is a seed of curiosity planted after experiencing the vulnerability of masochism, and it’s also healthy to put the dominant in the centre, in the place of being, after days of doing. The rope bondage during this day focuses on making the submissive accessible to the dominant’s desires. There is, or could be, an exciting turn in the narrative here. In the question: will the dominant instantly fulfil their desire, or do they prefer to stay on the edge of their excitement? In a way, edging or denying themselves the climax, and therefore diving into the masochistic fantasy as the protagonist themselves.

This workshop’s narrative may be better served by not switching roles, but I don’t want to make it a strict rule, as there are many other things to learn other than following along in the narrative. The intimacy level of the workshop can be everything from symbolic to sensual to full-on sexual. I hope you will enjoy it.


Andy is a student of theatre and tea, a medical massage therapist, a former organizational coach, a conscious kinkster, and a teacher of European and Japanese rope bondage. Living in Stockholm, Sweden and working around northern Europe. During his fifteen years of BDSM, he has been a slave, an owner, a hedonist, a purist, a magician, and a slut.

Are you looking for peace and tranquility to meet yourself and others?

My work aims to create magical rooms where people can rest, heal and grow. My tools, spirit and experience springs from neuro-semantic team building, medical massage therapy, European theatre, and Japanese rope bondage.

I work with both groups and individuals, and I love that the world is allowed to be complicated because that makes every meeting unique. My time in Japan engraved into me the presence, passion and embrace for the glimpse of zen that exists in every movement of life – and this I gladly share with you in a session, workshop, or with a cup of tea.

In the stillness between moments, life happens. Pause, witness.



Date: Friday, 30. September to Sunday, 2. October 2022

08:00 – 10:00 Breakfast
13:00 Lunch
16:00 – 20:00 Workshop
18:00 Dinner

08:00 – 10:00 Breakfast
10:00 – 13:00 Workshop
13:00 – 15:00 Lunch
15:00 – 18:00 Workshop
18:00 Dinner

08:00 – 10:00 Brunch and Room Check-out
10:00 – 18:00 Workshop

Kloster NaturSinne, during and in cooperation with the “eigenartig”
We will have a workshop room with ~100m², 12 suspension points and 3 hashiras.

The Eigenartig is a well-tried private bdsm retreat, organized by Sven. This handpicked group of amazing(ly) kinky people has been meeting for many years in different locations, where they give each other workshops, go for hikes, enjoy nature, party together and (of course) play together.
Eigenartig starts on Thursday and we highly recommend that you join then for socialising.
We are sharing the location, the buffet, the non-workshop times, the bonfires, the sauna and the play spaces. (How much you interact is up to you.)

Per person: € 200
(some subsidised tickets available, simply talk to us)
If you have never been to Querverbindungen and I don’t know you, please sign up with a partner.

Rooms (organized by eigenartig):
Single- or Double bedroom incl. three meals: € 80 per person per night

In this workshop we want to focus on the power dynamics and emotional/psychological aspects of pain during (semi-) suspension. Therefore a certain level of understanding and routine are required for all participants, including: Building a stable structure for suspension (Takate Kote or equivalent) and creating safe uplines.

Also we ask you to sign-up as couples, as a certain level of trust and closeness is required.
However, switching roles and partners during the workshop is allowed.

If you don’t meet these requirements yet:
There will be a dedicated suspension corner until the workshop at every Querverbindungs-Bondage Jam (each Wednesday) where an experienced group of regulars will help you reach the required level.
Also we would like to recommend the book, Flying and Tying by Shay Tiziano, to you. While written for a self-suspending audience, the knowledge and techniques are applicable to suspending a partner just as well.
Also maybe we can organize a last workshop at the eigenartig.

You have the option to book 2 or 3 nights. We highly recommend 3 nights (= arriving on Thursday) to take full advantage of the retreat.
Just write us at:
We require both your names, telephone numbers, e-mail addresses, home town and number of nights.
If you are already signed up with eigenartig separately, please let us and them know.

Covid: Please bring a negative PCR test (72h).

After sign-up you can join the internal eigenartig mailing list, where car pools and other activities are organized. You can park on location or ask for a pickup from the nearest train station (Aspang Markt Bahnhof, ~1h from Vienna, ~15€ without Vorteilscard).

Workshop language: English

Food and snacks:
Full board, including breakfast, lunch and dinner (omni and veggie/vegan)
Snacks, Coffee, etc.


  • A rope partner
  • The required skills as mentioned above
  • a minimum of 5x8m rope
  • comfortable clothing
  • your rope topping (rope, safety shears, etc.) and rope bottoming bags (required medications, personal snack and other comfort items, etc.)
  • (optional) notepad and pen
  • plus all toys and necessities you need for the eigenartig

We are looking forward to an amazing workshop. See you there!